While I was on the toilet, I threw up a little bit in my mouth. The talent show went well.
This is to make up for not being around so much the last couple of lemons.
But don’t run.
You will thank me
When I’m over.
I could have tried
What you wanted
With that seagull
Two days ago.
Come on, let’s do it! Let’s go be nonconformists! It’ll be great! They’ll look at us, and they’ll know that we’re interesting people, and they will have a story to tell their friends and families about the guy with the mohawk that was THIS TALL.
Don’t give me that look.
I don’t want to do it, either.
But I have to, because
You’re watching me
With that look.
Don’t look at me. I’m not real enough for that.
The capsule is full of dust. I don’t think I want to swallow that capsule. Don’t give me the pill. It’s icky.
I’ve been acting like a useless lump for so long. Maybe I should just quit school for good and just lie in bed at home all day. If I never try at anything again, then I won’t be wasting anyone’s time. I can just exist as some person who sleeps and occasionally gets up to go to the bathroom. I won’t be a failure at college. I won’t be a failure at anything because I’ll never try again.
Seriously, though, I keep messing things up.
Well, I guess I DO know what to do.
What I need to do is get out of bed on time in the morning, and do my work.
But I’ve had more and more trouble getting out of bed at all.
I don’t do my work.
I don’t seem to do things right, lately.
It seems that every year, I become more and more of a fuck-up.
I have this beautiful life, but I don’t know if I like who I’m becoming.
I’m a failure. And the worst part is, I choose every day to be a failure. I make that choice when I choose not to get out of bed in the morning. I make that choice when I choose to ignore my backed-up homework assignments. I make that choice every day.
I mean, I guess there are places in life where I’m choosing to be a success, but my flaws become more glaringly obvious every day.